Archive Page 2

So Boycott Love…Detox Just to Retox

dumpedAfter the jump find an essay I wrote on the Jewish perspective of Love and Dating…The actual Jewish traditions of dating are probably a little too conservative for me to actualy apply purely to my real life.  But I think there are some fabulous lessons to be learned…and everytime I find myself led astray and lost due to the actions of some imperfect boy and his perfect ploy…This stuff kinda helps…Also where this info came from – Rabbi Shlomo Shulman, Gila Mendelson and Mrs. Levitan from Israel…I’m telling myself not to worry…I’ll go back to being funny and cynical soon…Once I get past this slight relapse of a quarter life crisis… Read it

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I Need Light in the Dark as I Search for the Resolution

Ahh 2009 has begun!  No way it can be worse than 2008 (knock on wood).  Anyway I’ve got some New Year’s resolutions with a NH twist…here goes.

facebook1. Run the Stratton Faxon New Haven 5K RoadRace in < 30 minutes.

I’ve been running/jogging for just about a year now.  I’ve completed 3 official 5K’s.  The first of which was on Labor Day.  This year at the same race I’d like to post a time under 30 minutes.  Really for this resolution I’d like to just say lose 30lbs.  But that’s too generic…so I’ll just say I’d like to improve my 5K time knowing that in order to do so I’m gonna need to get rid of some excess baggage. Continue for more Resolutions

The Best Part of Believe is the Lie

It’s eight o’ clock and he should have called by now.  I call him back and before he even says “Ms. Fields” I grunt, “What the fuck?”  He shrugs off my hostility and tells me he’ll be home in ten minutes and I should come over then.  When I arrive he’s just pulled into the driveway and exits his car.  It’s dark and all I really see is the orange torch capping the end of his cigarette.  We go inside.  He goes down to the basement to free his roomate’s dog from the captivity of a small metal mesh cage where he’s confined to when no one’s home.  There’s some small talk as he points out the thirty dollar North Face gloves he’s just purchased with a gift certificate from Urban Outfitters…A place he’d never shop in if it wasn’t for a gift certificate – overpriced T-shirts he says.  We then, all three of us head up to his room.  It all seems fairly routine at this point.  He frees himself of his corduroy pants, yet he still remains clad in black boxers and an awful 80’s inspired Eddie Bauer flannel.  He jumps on his bed.  The dog follows and I have a seat there too.  He then gets up and starts pacing a bit.  Starts folding his cords all “nice nice” on a hangar and hangs them in a closet while I scratch the back of the dog’s ears as he starts making a cat like purr.  He then jumps right back on and in an effort to steel away the attention of the dog starts riling him up.  Usually the dog’s all for it.  But tonight he’d rather not be bothered.  We’re supposed to be watching a movie.  Usually the new fancy blu-ray player would already be on and ready…but he hasn’t yet gotten around to turning it on yet…He’s still messing around with the dog, who’s having none of what he’s offering.  I say “here Boy”  and the dog obediently sits on my lap and begins his satisfactory pants.  In somewhat of a jealous tone he says “She gives a mean blow job too.”  I roll my eyes and continue scratching the dog.  He makes a second flamboyant attempt to steel the dog’s attention, tryiing to roll him over onto his back to scratch his stomach, but this time he’s had enough and leaves the room.  For awhile, what seems like an eternity, we just stare at each other.  It’s now that I know something’s wrong.  He’s just looking square in the eyes…Still a smirk lingers on his face and I can’t tell if it’s in jest or if it’s something more.  Both of us just sit and stare…no words.  He then gets under the covers lights still on, TV still off.  Something’s very wrong.  I go ahead and get under them too.  But he stops me. continue

Finally!  Something super bad-ass at Yale.  Sadly I didn’t have to leave my lonely little apartment to view it…sigh…but I’m really glad somebody finally stepped up and did something that lives up to the reputation this school has…I mean…shit like that probably happens all the time here, it’s just usually reserved for everyone but the lame-o grad students or something…Anyway check it out in all most of its historical accuracy. P.S. – Saybrook represent!

A post I wrote last week on Yom Kippur, and still wish to Posit

Tonight began the holiest day of the Jewish calendar – Yom Kippur – The Day of Attonement.  Throughout my life I always remember dreading this day more than any other of the Jewish high holidays.  Mainly I guess because it’s comes attached with it the notion of being “holiest” – something that kind of scared – and it entailed spending a day sitting around bathing in a years worth of guilt in a formal setting while not eating.  But for some reason this year it dawned on me that Yom Kippur actually is kind of awesome.  Because in actuality Yom Kippur is a cleansing…A chance to reflect and purge all the wrongs, sins, misdoings of the past year and start clean slate fresh.

While reflecting on the past year – a year where I actually did essentially start fresh with my move to New Haven – I thought about the new and old relationships, both internal and external, their growths, progressions and in some cases their demises.  And it dawned on me what exactly it is that sets humankind apart from all else.  It is the constant struggle between instinct and intellect – choosing not to do what we are intrinsically compulsed to do in favor of what we have been taught is the right thing to do.  Today we remind ourselves that we aim to be masters, not servants to our instincts via the use of our intellect.  I’ve now been living here in New Haven for over a year and there are more examples now then ever before of how difficult it can be to find balance between these two forces…and how living happily and healthily as we like to say at the start of New Years is completely dependent on it.  continue

A Punctuation Revelation!

There’s been much chatter lately about the spectacularness of the semicolon. I however think the esoteric piece of punctuation leaves something to be desired.  I mean really, I’m no english major, but I never ever know when it’s appropriate to use the elusive semicolon; (?) to me it is exactly what it looks like – a glorified comma with a period shaped cherry on top.  You know what I say?  Over. Rated.  And you know what I instead want to discuss?  You guessed it! The exclamation point! It’s a loud, brute force, power ridden method of emphasizing the words that precede it – traditionally anyway.  However, I feel as though the internet, specifically blogging, has revitalized and reformed the use of the symbol.  These days ! is used to convey a connotation of snarky sarcasm (see 90% of the articles written on Gawker) or even an air of lighthearted declaration (see title).  So much awesomer than its ancestral implication.  The disruptive meaning in my opinion is so far superior, the old meaning has become obsolete.  I’ve grown so accostumed to using the ! for sarcasm, that it doesn’t even really compute when trying to convey emphasis as it’s intended to do.  So this leaves us with quite the dilemma. What do we do to remedy this situation?  The only thing that makes sense is the creation of a new symbol.  The question is do we keep the exclamation point for its traditional use? and make a new symbol for sarcasm? or do we cede the exclamation point to sarcasm and create a new symbol represent emphasis?

Yalie Shot, Mayor Responds: Tough Shit, Welcome to New Haven

I am a Douche bag

"I am a Douche bag"

It’s 8pm in New Haven. It’s a lovely Summer’s eve. I’m outside sitting on my patio overlooking Orange St., talking on the phone. I’m then interrupted by the sounds of sirens. Police Sirens, soaring up the street at rapid, no bullshit pace. A few minutes later an equally hurried ambulance soared in the opposite direction.

The next morning the Yale community was alerted that a graduate student, moving into her new East Rock apt. had been mugged and after a struggle was shot in the hand by her mugger. The description of the suspect sent along by Police Chief James Perotti states, “The male is described as being approximately 25 years of age, chubby build, wearing a dark shirt, blue jeans and white cap,” is as always devoid of one key physical descriptor that might be super helpful in identifying the suspect – this is obviously race. I think it’s highly dysfunctional they leave this kind of critical detail out for the sake of political correctness. It’d be one thing if it wasn’t known…in which case they could say that race wasn’t known…but the crime happened in daylight hours and other news sources like the New Haven Register described the suspect, “as a black man.” The fact of the matter is when the choice information such as race is witheld ambiguously I am much more inclined to just assume it is a minority than had they just said they didn’t know. When they say nothing it makes it more obvious they’re trying to cover it (i’m still not sure for what reason) which just leads to people assuming…and then they’ve gotten no where anyway except they look like ignotards.

The other, even more disturbing reaction to this situation came from Mayor Douchie DeStefano. DeStefano comments, as WTNH reports:

“You have three cities in the state that have 40% of the state’s affordable housing, provide for most of the populations that have mental health and substance abuse needs, and basically is here for everybody — whether you’re a graduate student at Yale, or frankly, whether you’re someone with long-term mental health and substance abuse problems,” Mayor DeStefano said. “That’s the role that the cities in our state provide.”

Mayor DeStefano goes on to say (with a seemingly bizarre heir of pride) that New Haven will not turn away those who might be considered high-risk. “We will be a place for everybody, that’s what we’ve chosen to be,” he said. “We don’t pass zoning that keep people out, we don’t refuse facilities, be they group homes, mental health facilities, substance abuse, we have 24 registered sex offenders living in the city of New Haven right now and a parole and probation population of 5,000.”

Oh, so New Haven is like Ellis Island for degenerates, mentally ill, and dangerous criminals! Where they are welcomed and can find safe haven – no pun intended! This is basically what the Mayor is saying (with such eloquence it rivals that of Emma Lazarus!). Not only that, but Yale provides a wealth of well-to-do, tax dollar paying citizens that can pay for the hoodlums and their “facilities,” and simultaneously serve as prey to attacks and mugging when one of the crazies feels like committing a violent crime! (Irony!) Don’t like it? Well the Mayor feels that you’re shit out of luck…You should have went to Princeton! What kind of attitude is that to have? If anything you more than anyone should be working toward the reform of the city – not by refusing entry or through zoning as you falsely think people want, but through education, economic, social and police force reform…That’s your job asshole. Or is your description of New Haven above your definition of All-American you so proudly boast about? You are the lamest Mayor ever and I’d like to see how you’d feel after you were one of the victims of a shooting.

Seriously let’s ban together and impeach this loser… Or at least have him checked into one of the facilities and from there he can be the mayor of Boo Haven instead.

**Note: Also worth noting, I’m not sure where he gets his factoids from, but 24 sex offenders?  I think not…or at least not according to this highly reputable blog…as well as Family Watchdog.