Snooki’s Boyfriend – typical New Haven Citizen

So – I always ask my suuuuuuuuper I-talian trainer, the one, the only, Andrew Spinato (of NHF famedom) if he watches the Jersey Shore after he makes bizarro guido-y type references…mostly about his friends using steroids and using the phrase Juicehead – something I’d never heard until before the show, but something that seemed to be ingrained in his vernacular since birth.  He vehemently denies having ever seen the show – “cept that one scene where the girl gets punched in the face.”  But today he added that he lifts with that girl’s boyfriend at Gold’s Gym in New Haven.  And I thought for sure he was full of shit…b/c everyone knows she’s so very desperately, sadly, like a small retarded puppy sadly single…So I just said OK and figured Andrew was just farting out his mouth – as is typical of our early morning conversations when he’s giving me a pulverizing, soul crushing beatdown…Bu-hut when I opened my daily gossip column this morning much to my surprise – this…to quote:

“Just a month ago, Snooki told PEOPLE that she was looking for love. Well, it seems she got her wish: Just a week or so ago, the Jersey Shore breakout star started dating 21-year-old Emilio Masella, a personal trainer at the Gold’s Gym in New Haven, Conn.”

But it kinda does make PERFECT sense that she would date someone from New Haven…which is exactly why I dread the fact that I live exist here…and am single…again…Silver Lining – only have to be here for the rest of my 20’s!  Can someone please pass the lexapro?


Why I chose Yale…In less words than a twitter post

So apparently people in admissions thought the above would be a good idea…I could have saved them a lot of time and money because quite frankly…Here’s a script of my Why I chose Yale video.

Why I chose Yale

Dramatis Personae: Me – me

ACT ONE – Me placed anywhere in the Universe

ME: I chose Yale because it’s f**king Yale…That’s why everyone here chose Yale…Or maybe it’s because of New Haven – all those hobos, panhandlers, crackheads and drug addicts and crime that surround the campus…yeah, actually that’s probably it…

end scene

Watch Barack YoMama not really understand science

So yesterday our fearless leader spoke about stuff…mostly money stuff, but other important stuff too, like Israel and how bad the last administration fucked this country into the ground and being black and all…and oh yeah, someone asked that annoying question about that controversial science-y thing we all hear about – stem cell research…And Barack responded.  His response was totally sufficient for what he was trying to say – basically Stem Cell research is fine by me and the luno-s in the bible belt can go suck it b/c they’re ethical standards are dumb…that plus ethics aside, he made it very clear that in the long run the way to get our asses out of this fucked up economy is to stop spending so much money on sick, fat and old people and mitigate health care costs…which ofcourse starts with expanding funding and capabilities of science research…Awesome…he is great for folks like me! (I hate it when he says folks…which he did several times last night in the 10 minutes I watched…it reminds me of that last guy who did his job…anyway I digress…)  Anyway the point i’m trying to get at is, when you watch him respond below, I’m pretty convinced he has NO IDEA what stem cells even are…I’m pretty sure he knows absolutely nothing about science…Every time he reaches into his super brain and is looking for a science word, he stumbles with some uhmms and uhhs for a little bit before landing on usually something more politico like ‘morals’ or ‘ethics’ or just plain old ‘science’ instead.  But anyway, someone needs to fill him in on ASAP on those stem cell things he’s all for…b/c it looks bad that he doesn’t really know anything about them except his stance…

I’m a Loose Bolt of a Complete Machine

As a Yale graduate student, I’m very infrequently privy to knowing when awesome speakers are going to appear on campus and display their brilliance upon us through the media of speech.  Yesterday, however, I was actually lucky enough to attend a talk by Ira Flato, host of NPR’s Science Friday – a piece that’s aired every Friday as part of a larger show Talk of the Nation.  It’s basically his job to convey important scientific revelations to a “lay” public as far as scientific knowledge is concerned.  He came to Yale to convey the importance of science in the public arena and how in today’s society, the “news” is delivered to us on cable TV by an industry fueled by and owned by the entertainment industry…thus making the “news” these days synonymous with that – entertainment…Science, as well as most other important topics like politics, economics, and social affairs, once considered newsworthy, are being disregarded in place of things like celebrity feuds and nonsense that can appeal to the lowest common denominator – lazy Americans…us as a society would rather lose themselves in other peoples’ lives as opposed to caring about anything that would actually be considered newsworthy.  Jessica Simpson’s weight gain and Christian Bale’s psychotic episode take a back seat to issues like the war in Iraq, or global warming or the current economic crisis or things that actually effect the world as a whole.  We live in an escapist realm where what we value has been so distorted by an elite society and pundits made to sell bizarro, radical, unimportant controversy that it distorts so extremely what’s actually relevat and important.

That aside…Ira Flato asked us all as a group of educated scientists to be able to perform one task – Explain what we do, as scientists, in one minute, to someone who has a non-science background.  It’s something I struggle with every time I meet someone new.  They ask me what I do.  I tell them I’m pursuing a PhD in Biomedical Engineering.  They ask me to elaborate.  I tell them I’m in the field of Drug Delivery.  Immediately I see in their mind them picturing me pushing QPs of heroin or coke on a street corner or in some shady motel.  I mean, Drug Delivery means nothing to someone not in the field that isn’t down and out right sketchy…and illegal.  That’s obviously not what I do…but how do you tell someone that what you do involves “polymers” and using them as “vectors” to more efficiently deliver pharmaceuticals, that may not actually be potent or effective if delivered otherwise for the purpose of treating cancer or gene therapy applications?  It’s just as tough of a task as actually getting up in the morning with that as a goal for the end of the day.  And trust me – it’s not an easy goal to have in mind.  It seems to me like it can be one step forward for every two steps back.  A hard thing to keep on doing.

And at the end of Ira’s talk the idea of creation vs. evolution came up somehow…I’m not sure how…It’s funny because I’ve actually heard a segment where Ira interviewed a famous paleontologist whose argument was something like this – I am a scientist, I believe in evolution, but I also believe in creation.  How is this the case?  I believe in creation because if some higher power was to in fact create a system to further development of beings – evolution would be the perfect one to do so….So there you have it – some higher being G-d may have you, created the system of evolution…Faith is science and science is faith.  And to tell you the truth, it’s how it feel sometimes.  I make nanoparticles.  I’ve done it may times.  It’s a procedure that’s been optimized and is easy.  Anyone can do it.  But at the end of the day all you end up with is a white looking powder.  You take it on faith sometimes that in fact that powder is composed of something much more – tiny, nano-sized spheres full of whatever it is you’ve chosen to put in them.  Something that could cure cancer or could help someone somewhere down the line…that’s why you get up everyday and do it…again and again.  Sure, science has helped us out in the form of microscopy – if you need to check yourself you can actually look at these spheres under 40,000x magnification and see that they in fact exist…but some part of you, even with the concrete evidence of a photographic, takes it on faith that that’s what’s there.

And where am I going with this?  I’m not sure…to tell you the truth I had a rough, drunk night.  I saw the last boy I actually really had some undeserved faith in with another girl tonight – he said “It is what it is.”  And maybe that is in fact the case…the world “is what it is.” and we should stop asking for answers that our beyond our scope of perception and just accept the way things are…reject science and accept it for the ironically unexplainable thing that it is with the perceptions we were granted as human beings.  My ex-boyfriend, who I truly did love once told me a great quote – “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.”  And I guess that’s the point…it seems to me it’s all the same…So the question I leave you with is where does the border lie?  Where do science, religion, magic, love and the likes, where do they actually coincide, collide?  How do we reconcile ourselves in this world of science of faith, or love and heartache? Sobriety and drunkenness? I guess I don’t know…but I doubt this will be the end of my searching.


Myspace Glitter Graphics

When life gives you lemons – you lose yourself mindlessly at the casino bar stripclub crackden!

New Haven Parking Meters will Eat Your Money, Soul

parking-copyOk, so I try never to drive around New Haven anymore than I have to. For one, it’s small enough to get around without having a car, but sometimes it’s unavoidable. Everywhere on the street is plagued with parking meters. That’s fine…the city should be allowed to collect some form of compensation for essentially renting you space to leave your vehicle…However (prepare yourself for some major injustinces in 5, 4, 3, 2…) the parking meters in New Haven will on average eat 1/6 or so of the coins you feed it, and reward you with no time. In addition, putting in a quarter will buy you 12 minutes, but two dimes and a nickel will buy you 10 or 11 minutes depending on what kind of mood the meter is in. And yes, that is not to even mention the fact that parking on the streets of New Haven for 12 minutes costs 25 cents which is a ridiculousness all in itself. Don’t worry fellow residents – I’m taking action!

Oh Baby, You’re a Classic, Like a Little Black Dress

You know that feeling when you’ve met someone new and you’re excited and apprehensive and totally petrified. But then something happens…it can be really simple like a hand being grabbed or a first, totally mind-numbing kiss…You get fucking butterflies in regions lower than your stomach…and you feel airy and light because in that moment everything is just how you wish it could be eternally. Ok, well that’s the best way I can describe the new Fall Out Boy album. Haters should stop reading now as I review it in all its emo, heart entrenching, yet ironically comical, narcissistic, melodramatic and beautifully eclectic entirety.

As far as the sound goes it’s classic FOB – but I’d say slightly more aged, mature and complex than their most previous release – Infinity On High. This is exemplified in their list of guests who appear on the album, mostly people I don’t care about, but who if nothing else prove that the band has reached some sort of pinnacle as far as the music community is concerned by pulling out big names like that…although personally all I hear and all I want to hear is Patrick Stump’s muttonchomped face, harmonized, falsetto chords singing me to sleep or making me dance around the lab as he sings about amphetamines over funky horns in “20 Dollar Nose Bleed.” Yeah the album’s totally rich, it’s obviously a foundation of rock with mixes or punk, medley ballads, beat poetry, and brass components. It’s just overall bad assssssssssssss.

And the thing about FOB is that for an emo band they don’t do a lot of whining or crying. They make an ironic stance sometimes when it comes to this, as Rolling Stone points out in the album’s opening song, “Disloyal Order of Water Buffaloes (BEST SONG NAME EVER that makes no sense) the lyrics go – “Nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy”, and sometimes they’re self-absorbed, and sometimes they are sad and angst ridden or even funny, “My head’s in Heaven/My soles are in Hell/Let’s meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well,” and they’re always punny.

And to me it feels like every little three line or sometimes even three word chorus is empathic in that it feels like a zillion emotions nicely condensed into a few words. The album title is a perfect example, “Folie a Deux,” which describes the insanity of one person that is exacerbated many fold when complexed with the insanity of another. And even when the empathy is of the order of emo or sad, it has a funny uplifting way about it, like a protective, self-deprecating joke.

Bottom line, even if Pete Wentz has his own stop on the douchebag express I don’t care what you think! As Long as…No, no i’m not gonna go there…Folie a Deux is in fact happiness without the misery…there…i went there…

July 2018
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