The Man Behind the (e-) Mail

Ok, I’ve been having a full on conundrum all week. It goes like this – It’s sorta slow in lab, so I’m sitting at my desk trying to be productive and analyze data, read papers, etc., etc, constantly checking my e-mail in hopes of a sprouting of some small form of joy or distraction. And what do I usually get? An e-mail from one of the people at Yale who e-mails me quite possibly most frequently. His name is Chief Officer James A. Perrotti. His e-mails always start out by basically saying he doesn’t want to be e-mailing the entire Yale community right now, but due to some federal law or something he’s mandated to. He then proceeds to describe (in what usually is) the most vague, nebulous and obscure way ever a crime that has occurred usually within the last 24 hours to someone in the Yale community. Someone’s been mugged/pan-handled, beaten to a pulp with milk crates, you know, all the stuff you don’t see in the brochures…