Procrastination is an Art…y Soy una Artista

Ok…so while I was at lab today I made up a fun game.  Here’s how you play. You think of two things that have nothing in common. For this example we’ll use New Haven – something I hate and Radiohead – something I don’t hate. Now you go to Wikipedia and start with one of them, I started with New Haven, then without ever going back see how few links you can click on to get to the other….Here was my journey from New Haven to Radiohead…Play it with me on g-chat when you’re bored at work one day…It’s fun and you learn things. Like did you know that Orange St. in New Haven is named after Prince William Henry of William and Mary – aka shrine of tolerance for the Protestants back in the day?…Yeah, I didn’t either, but now we do! Hooray!

1. New Haven
2. East Rock
3. William III of England
4. Westminster Abbey
5. John Dryden
6. All for Love (play)
7. Heroine
8. Apotheosis
9. Salvador Dali
10. Avant-garde
11. Pink Floyd
12. Progressive Rock
13. The Beatles
14. Rolling Stone
15. Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Albums of All Time
16. Music Timeline
17. Radiohead

Ok…so that was quite round-a-bout…but you get the picture. Dan I challenge you to a duel!

Things that bug me: Sometimes More is Less

Ok, so we’ve already had a discussion on the basic human necessities that New Haven lacks…but, even more disturbing – the multitude of superfluous entities New Haven has in rich abundance. So in list form, just a few examples and explanations…

1) Churches – 130+ houses of worship for the Christian faith alone.

Don’t believe me? Good, i’ve compiled a list. Yes, seriously, quite possibly the most blasphemous city on the east coast has just that many houses of worship. In fact, this place is kinda obsessed…the main streets in the heart of downtown are aptly named Church, Chapel and Temple and I don’t think there’s really anywhere you can stand in the city without a church buttress in sight. With all this in mind, you might think that when New Haven residents take a look around and think to themselves – WWJD? But they don’t, and here’s the proof.

Yale contributes…I know because it told me so

Yale is contributing to a strong New Haven. Or at least that must be true because they wrote it on a banner and hung it on campus. Check out some of the great programs Yale has initiated to conquer New Haven’s overwhelming homelessness problem. They include buying vouchers to be distributed to panhandlers that can be redeemed at various stores in New Haven – so you can be assured your contribution to the homeless won’t be spent on drugs! What an awesome idea! That’s some great reform the future political leaders of the free-world are coming up with to battle poverty. Kudos!

Yale has an endowment of 22 billion dollars. 22 billion mother fucking dollars. Why not actually take just 1 billion of those dollars and invest it in New Haven? You know, the place everyone associated with the institution actually has to live…and currently in fear… Just 1/22 of what you have that’s not much…It’s probably not even the amount Yale would owe in back taxes if they actually paid taxes…Who’s with me? Let’s start a revolution to try to force Yale to invest in New Haven instead of it’s own greed…Either that…or I have one alternative idea…(see below)

Things that bug me: An obnoxiously long rant on laundry @ 900 Chapel

Ok, so it’s like late morning, 10:30ish on Sunday. I just woke up…my head’s a little pounding from possibly one too many rum and cokes after a night of NH style bar hopping…I role out of my bed into the filth and squalor that’s built up over the week. It’s kinda gross…but it means only one thing – Laundry time!

Why I can’t live in Downtown Hobohaven anymore Part 1/382

I’ve just spent 13 hours at lab, it’s 11pmish, i’m spent, but before I can finally get home I have to plunder through massive amounts of screaming and gunshots before I can actually get into my apartment…where I continue to hear the hysteria and bedlam.

Dead Baby Art – Real, Shocking, Super Gross, coming to a Yale Near You!

So Tues/Thurs morning in my 9 o’clock class I usually get there a little early and hit up the Yale Daily News website…but this morning to my dismay the site had crashed. I later learned why via Gawker. To put it as simply as possible – some freaktard Art major will be, “displaying her senior art project, a documentation of a nine-month process during which she artificially inseminated herself ‘as often as possible’ while periodically taking abortifacient drugs to induce miscarriages. Her exhibition will feature video recordings of these forced miscarriages as well as preserved collections of the blood from the process,” according to YDN – which is now back up and running (even though the article’s listed separately b/c the right winger crazies are going nuts over it and the site can’t handle the traffic). Oh. My. God. Seriously? abortifacient drugs? If she really wanted to impress me she should have done it old school w/ a rusty hanger.

When asked what motivated her project she responded – “I hope it inspires some sort of discourse.” Because, you know, no one ever talks about abortion…ever. But to tell you the truth, she has left me completely speechless…and kinda a little nauseous.

Yale Club Not Just for Geriatrics Anymore

The love of my life, Joshua David Stein has concluded in an article written for Page Six that Yale’s more fun once you leave and move to NYC – thanks to the Yale club. Establishments such as the Yale club and other swanky, members only clubs have traditionally catered to an older crowd but that trend is changing in favor of under 35ers. The idea is that the Yale club (and others like it) needs to stay alive, and in order to do so are now changing their style to draw in a younger crowd. The new attitude includes, “relaxed dress codes, holding mixers and staying open past 10pm.” Josh claims it’s turning into “a sort of real-life Facebook,” where members come together not only for business and pleasure in exclusivity but also to feel special on the inside because everyone there knows you went to Yale.

P.S. – Josh Stein, please be my Facebook friend…please

Ikea: Lillberg Pax Birkeland

New Haven is blessed…with its very own Ikea store….the trials and tribulations of a journey to Ikea are unfit for words of this tongue…so I present 1/2 Treatise on Ikea: Lillberg Pax Birkeland

JANSJÖ! MELODI BILLSTA GRANÅS DELIKAT.  DOCKSTA ESTETISK FLYT MACKIS BABBLA SPONTAN.  NÅLIS KNODD DÄNKA SKUBB MORÄN JORD NIVÅ SPÄRRA.  GEDIGEN LEGITIM RESURS SKYDD PRUTA. FÖRVAR ORDNING SAGOLIK AKTION. RAJT ANAKUT IDEALISK SYNTES KONST!!!! BEHANDLA FIXA DACKE. STENSTORP GIMÅN FÖRHÖJA UTBY UDDEN? HJUVIK GRANÅS SPÄRRA BOHOLMEN RESURS GEDIGEN ATLANT KARLSTAD EKTORP… TULLSTA EMMABO LUNNA POÄNG FIXA TULLSTA SKRUVSTA TYLÖSAND IDEALISK – ESTETISK FLYT NYTTJA UGGLARP SLÄTTHULT – ERIKSLUND HEMSJÖ.  HÅLLARE  SIRLIG CENTRERA LYKTA. TRATT VÅREN JUTANÄS GESTALTA HAVTORN AVENY GEDIGEN OVATION.  JORD BEHANDLA IDEALISK ORDNING BEHANDLA.

Sippin’ on Gin and (Prune) Juice

Today was actually a really good day, especially considering it’s Tuesday. Although New Haven’s been swimming in Scandal and even more creepier Scandal, today I just want to share an excerpt from my evening at Maimonidies (A Jewish fellowship program I am currently involved in)…This conversation took place after an exceedingly long discussion on free will and the existence of God which involved two and a half hours of nonsensical hypothetical situations…

(Class finally ends…)

Rachel KT: Can we move our graduation ceremony, because it conflicts with Spring Fling.

Me: What’s Spring Fling?

Rachel KT: It’s a big concert they throw the day after the last day of classes at Yale…Everyone gets shitty.

Me: Oh, nice…Can Grad students go?

Rachel KT: Yeah why not?

Hilary: Yeah grad students can go, but they get herded off to the side and sip on prune juice…And also take shots of Metamucil.

…And since it was such a good day for no apparent reason – some insight into my wildest fantasies..It’s a Kitty Pool filled with Kitties! Bam!

Today is our Independence Day!

Yale Engineering has officially seceded from the School of Arts and Sciences to become its own independent entity.  According to the Provost, “SEAS [School of Engineering and Applied Sciences] will be a ‘School within a School,’ meaning that it remains within the Faculty of Arts and Sciences, and its degrees will continue to be awarded by the College and the Graduate School.”…So basically what they’re trying to say is everything’s staying exactly the same except now socially awkward and introverted engineering geeks will feel just a little more separate from everyone else…sigh…